Home is where my heart is…always

I’m not sure what compelled me to take this photo back in May, as I was outside in our backyard doing some exploring with the kids. At the time it was mostly my inclination to get a shot using the magnified/zoom feature. (That’s always a fun one to me) It could have also been that they were such cute little clovers, a miniature weed as I like to call them, since they tend to pop up out of nowhere. Or purely reveling in the simple beauty that was just steps away from my everyday living. Whatever the reason then however, holds more value to me now that I’ve let go of that way of living for a while. And that brings me to the story behind the “move.”

Sometimes life hits you with things you never thought possible, the ‘curve balls’ as they say, and that’s when you have the opportunities to choose your next path or destination. Of course there is always the alternative, which is to not grab life by the horns and direct it, but rather get swept away from the undertow of what we can’t change. For many it would be a safer reaction to ride that current deeper and let it own you for a while. For me, I know that the calmer water awaits, but not before an upstream battle. We were coasting for a bit I’ll admit but certainly getting nowhere fast. I may not have felt ready or willing to face the challenge of getting through the tough times we’ve been faced with, but I’m not one to sit back and ride things out either. I’m the ‘take charge’ type of personality and it was time to step in and make changes.

One of my favorite flowers in our backyard...such a beautiful fragrance it gave off

 It has never been my intention to become defined by what I have in this world,  or in what I own. What mattered to me years ago, which I’m not afraid to admit, was fitting into what “should” be or what I thought was expected. This world today certainly makes it hard to stay in tune with, and discern what we identify ourselves with. It’s the whole concept of “Living the American Dream” right? It’s so overrated if you ask me!! It’s an obsession with “things.” Whatever happened to just being ok with the simple necessities? As I’ve grown over the years, I’ve realized now what matters most to me is my family that I adore. Lucky for me, I realized this at a time when I needed to most. When people, and jobs, and money felt like it failed us, it was still okay. Time to turn new leaves and directions obviously.

So owning a home with a horrible loan attached to it has been detrimental to many, including myself. Add that to an array of other unforseen hurdles and uh Houston… we have a problem. I’m so not about to let things go down without a fight around here, so my conclusion to the mortgage issue was simple.

Let someone else carry the load for a while…

I love my house, period. But that’s just it, it’s just a house when it comes down to it. It doesn’t define what we are as people in the end. And could it be that in finding someone who can handle the mortgage for a while better than we can, is a way to make it to our end without regrets? After all it’s being proactive and not going for an easy out, which will strengthen our character overall. But was I really ready to let go and be okay with someone or other family using it and calling it their home for a while? The thought of that was more than just an unsettling moment of consideration. It was through much prayer and visualization that I could actually see that the opportunity would become a blessing in disguise for our family. More importantly it was what needed to be done.

Hand washing, here I come!!

After convincing my husband that renting out our home was the answer, we were on our way to yet another huge, life changing event….a two bedroom, one bathroom tri-plex soon awaited the arrival of our six person family. Am I crazy you ask? Maybe so, but my crazy is going to get us results so I am proud of that. It is a huge sacrifice for our family (let me mention we are going without a dishwasher, microwave, washer & dryer, no outlets in the bathroom among other minor things) but it’s down to those simplicities now. I can appreciate that and I want the kids to develop an appreciation for it as well. What we are going without, I’ve realized, is not the end of the world. It’s all those things we have come to expect, because we are used to having them in our life. But not having all the little niceties won’t be the end of me, it will make me even more joyful on the day I do have them again.

It has been a little over a month now and the truth is I am completely content here. It has been so eye-opening to downsize and learn to let go of a lot of the “Stuff” that accumulated over the years. The kids have adjusted well to smaller spaces and less unnecessary toys. Although they are tiny still themselves so they probably hardly notice.  It was actually a great lesson for them as I had them pick only their three favorite toys to bring with us. A few favorites went to storage where they could trade it out at a later time. Most of it I’m proud to say, they opted to donate or give away to friends. The most important thing to me is knowing we don’t need those things or the house to be happy. Our home is without a doubt where our heart is. Our heart and family are here now and there is nothing more I need or could ask for when it comes down to it. Thankfully we found a nice family to rent our home to, and I’m grateful to give them a place to call home as well.

Till we meet again...

I know I was blessed to have the opportunity to make all the sweet memories we h aveat our home for the past 8 years. From bringing each baby home from the hospital, and welcoming them to their new world, the day little legs and hands first crawled across the floors, the sounds of the kids busy at play, the good nights and good mornings, the beauty in my backyard, to the toy messes and random silly bands I’d find around the place…It’s all kept close to my heart. While one door has closed on those times for us for a short while, another one opened to pick up where it left off. There are plenty of new memories to be made here for the time being! So I’m okay with letting go.  I consider this a small adventure on the big journey of life and I have faith that I’m headed the right direction.

It was a touch of Hawaii every time I looked out from my kitchen.